Street Fighter Zanza
by panneler-san
Summary: You wait for hours for him to come back. He doesn't.
1. Realization

A/N: A pairing that came into my head once and hasn't left since. So, a series of connected drabbles to fill the gap.

Realization

You realize, quite suddenly, like a bucket of cold water has been thrown on you, that you do not love Kenshin.

Strange, you think – you haven't seen the man in a week, and you've barely thought about him for the past two. You've both been so busy, rebuilding the dojo, helping out in the town, hauling lumber, teaching classes, making rice, doing laundry…

But you don't love him.

And the realization came completely out of nowhere.

"Oh," you whisper as the needle you've been using to mend Yahiko's trousers presses sharply past your skin. You watch in fascination (is it because of the startling nature of your discovery?) as a tiny red bead of your blood appears from the tip of your finger. You watch it grow slightly larger, tremble with weight, and finally roll down your hand toward your knuckles.

You don't love Kenshin.

You come to your senses and move the finger to your mouth, tasting iron while you stumble toward the kitchen to find a bandage, Yahiko's _hakama_ forgotten on the _tatami_. As you sweep past the open doors, the scent of spring hits you full on, and you inhale the rain, lavender, and grass deeply. From the dojo, you hear the _swish _of your student's practice sword as he swings it for the umpteenth time that morning.

Yahiko hasn't changed, you realize, and You don't love Kenshin.

You haven't decided if this makes you sad. You shake your head and enter the kitchen, where you find Sano.

He rises his hand and smiles at you widely, half-eaten rice ball clutched in his hand. "Yo, Missy," he calls.

You give him a disapproving stare and snap, "Haven't you just eaten breakfast?"

He shrugs and his eyes move to your hand, dangling by your side, which has started to bleed again. "I'm a growing man," he explains as you shake your head and find the medicine chest. "I'm hungry all the time."

"You remind me of an old man," you scoff, and wince as your injured finger smarts when you try to use it to unwrap a bandage.

A shadow appears behind you, and you feel the warmth of Sano's chest hovering centimeters from your back. Even through your kimono you can feel him there. You stiffen and his arms wrap around you, heavily bandaged hands taking the supplies from you.

You watch in fascination as Sano, who is more hurt than anyone you know, not even blinking an eye as he takes your finger gently in his hands and wraps the soft, clean linen around it, cutting it to size and fastening it with a tiny dab of bandage glue. You remember, immediately, how many times you've done this for him.

He chuckles in your ear and you can feel the heat from his breath tickle your neck. He raised Goosebumps. "Come on, Missy. I'm barely a year older than you," he says. "You never change, do you?"

And suddenly your back and neck are very, very cold. You whip around, but Sanousuke is already gone. The half-eaten rice ball lays forgotten on the table.

You don't love Kenshin.

A/N:

Next Drabble: Change


	2. Change

A/N: The second installment.

Change

The nightingales and crickets are still chirping when you finally wake up. It's dark outside, and you wonder if it's so early the sun hasn't come out. From outside you hear the rattle of the main gate and just like the day, it dawns on you that Kenshin is back.

Despite the knowledge that came to you the day before, you know you still care about him. You always will.

He was your first love, after all.

As you tumble sleepily out of your soft, warm futon and onto the freezing floor and fumble for your wrap, you understand why you don't love him anymore.

You're tired.

You – Kamiya Kaoru – are tired of waiting. You thought, long ago, maybe he cared about you. Then he left for Kyoto to battle Shishio. You were sure he liked you. Then after Enishi disappeared he stopped trying to hold your hand. Now, nearly two years since the day he thought he'd lost you, you were praying he loved you.

Instead, he told you after a long silence that he'd be leaving the dojo for seven days.

Perhaps, you decide as you finally tie the wrap around yourself and put on your shoes, perhaps you've been tired for years. Maybe you stopped loving the tragic swordsman a long time ago. When was it, you wonder?

You step out into the dark dawn and race toward the gate, face red from the chill. "Kenshin!" you cry.

He's standing there, barely moving in front of the entrance, Sakabato by his side like always. He hears you coming and turns, a tired smile on his face. "Kaoru-dono."

You've missed him. Your arms wrap around him in a crushing hug. He mutters an "Oro" and his whole body stiffens. You don't let go, and after a few long moments, he sighs, defeated, and places his hand on your back to return the embrace.

"I'm home," he whispers.

You say, "Welcome back," into his shoulder, and marvel at how comfortable this is. He's only ever regarded you as a friend – you see that, now. A good friend, but not a lover. You realize that, just maybe, being best friends is better.

Perhaps you should have given up on your one-sided love long ago. You feel all romance leave you, and it's beautiful. Kenshin is your best friend. You love him, but you don't love him like _that_. Not anymore.

You pull back and notice a large scratch that's dribbling blood on his neck. You hit his shoulder with all your might.

"Ah!" he cries.

"Idiot!" you yell, seizing his hand and leading him to the kitchen to find the medicine chest. "I told you to be careful! Do you always have to get injured and worry me out of my mind?!"

You don't see his face, but you can tell he is smiling as he holds your hand a little tighter. "You never change, Kaoru-dono," he says quietly.

As you dress his wound, you desperately want to tell him it isn't true.

You don't utter a word.

A/N:

Previous Drabble: Realization

Next Drabble: A New You


	3. A New You

A/N: Third installment.

A New You

The sun finally comes up, and the earth is a little warmer. The nights aren't as cold anymore – summer is approaching quickly. You don't go back to sleep, though after you fix Kenshin's neck you send him to bed. He looked completely exhausted.

Instead, you watch the morning paint the sky blue, watch the stars vanish, and watch the moon slide out of sight. Then you go back to the kitchen, dressed in your red kimono. You haven't worn it since the day after Enishi's disappearance, when you had gone secretly to the police station to see how he was doing.

It's your best kimono, and you wanted to show the white-haired man that you were doing well, and you didn't hold a grudge for what he had done. But the officers told you he'd vanished, so you'd gone home to change into your old and worn purple kimono. If he was gone, you couldn't do anything about it.

As you grill fish and boil rice for breakfast, you wonder why you put it on. You've never dressed up on a regular day like this. And then, right as the mackerel begins to turn charcoal black, you decide that you've put on your best kimono and dressed up to shed your old self. The one that got angry easily, the one that was easily depressed, the one that was so determined, you were blind to anything else, and the you that loved Himura Kenshin, the Man-Slayer.

You're a new you.

"Whoa, Missy!" cries Sano's voice from over your shoulder, and you jump in surprise.

"Gah!" you yell.

Sano's face is absurdly close to yours, and just like yesterday, his arms wrap around you to reach the paddle. He flips the fish. "No wonder you're always burning our meals," he complains, trying to hide a smile. "Do you get lost in thought every time you cook?"

You spin around, much too close to his wrapped chest for comfort, and smack it hard.

He stumbles back and rubs his chin in confusion. "God, Missy."

"Stop doing that!" you cry, and seize the paddle from his hand. "If you want to make breakfast, then ask nicely! Don't grab it from my hands!"

Confused, he points to the fish. "It was gonna burn."

"It didn't burn."

"Because I helped," he said.

You huff in frustration and turn back to the grill, pride once again hurt over your cooking. "Go wake Yahiko, the food is almost done."

He starts to leave, and you call after him, "Oh, and Kenshin, too!"

There's a short pause. You watch the mackerel darken. "Kenshin is back?" asks Sano. "When?"

"This morning," you say, and take the pot of rice off of the fire. "Early."

There's an even longer pause, and you turn your head to check if he's left. Sano is still there, staring at you. He isn't smiling.

You can't remember the last time you didn't see Sano smile. "What?" you ask.

After a moment, he grins. "Nice kimono, Missy," he comments. "You should wear it more than once every two years."

He leaves in the direction of Kenshin's room, and you stare after him. Your heart beats.

A/N:

Previous Drabble: Change

Next Drabble: Laundry Day


	4. Laundry Day

A/N: Fourth installment already : )

Laundry Day

Yahiko absolutely freaks out when he finally comes down from his room and sees Kenshin, sitting calmly at his place at the table, sipping green tea. Sano smirks at the scene of the boy tackling his friend, and you shake your head and serve the rice.

You're all sitting at the table, laughing, joking, and nibbling the crispy fish and soft rice when Yahiko asks loudly, "Where did you go, anyway?"

Kenshin smiles and sets his cup down on the table. "This one had to help other victims of an earthquake."

"There was one outside of Tokyo?" asks the boy. "How did you hear about it? We've been so busy rebuilding everything from the last earthquake, we've barely gotten news from anyone!"

"A letter was sent my way," he explained, holding his empty bowl out to you and smiling sweetly.

You smile back and take it, scooping more rice into it. Your eye catches Sano's as you hand the bowl back. He isn't smiling again, and you send a half-hearted one his way in an attempt to cheer him up.

He only holds out his empty bowl, frown on his face.

You take it.

"I served with this family's father during the Bakumatsu, and am in his debt. I was glad to help his family rebuild their home after the earthquake."

Bowl filled with more rice, Sano reaches across the table and yanks it from your hands. You aren't smiling anymore.

"You're back for good now, right?"

You feel eyes besides Sano's linger on you as Kenshin says "Yes. I am back for good."

Sano looks away and starts shoveling large chopsticks-full of rice into his cheeks. You almost take a bite of more fish, but his sudden cold demeanor has left a bad taste in your mouth. You aren't hungry, so you put your chopsticks down on your bowl and say, "I'm going to start the laundry."

Kenshin blinks. "Kaoru-dono, you barely ate a thing."

Sano shoves a particularly large bite into his mouth as you glance at him and say, "I'm not hungry."

You think, for a moment, he follows your gaze. You think, for a second, you see something dangerous flash across his face as he notices Sano, but then you blink, and he is smiling back up at you. "This one will help you with the wash," he offers, standing.

Sano mumbles about terrible cooking as you walk outside.

Previous: A New You

Next: Sparring


	5. Sparring

A/N: Fifth installment. This one is a little longer.

Sparring

You take a deep breath and feel the air rush into your lungs, and a cold bead of sweat slides down the back of your neck. You suppress a shiver.

"What are you even doing, Ugly?" asks Yahiko rudely, watching you from his cross-legged position several meters away, elbow propped up on his knee. His chin rests in the palm of his hand. "You haven't moved in an _hour_."

You ignore him. Your concentration is most important here, when he has finally started to speak to you.

Yahiko sighs angrily and rolls his head back a little, shouting to the ceiling, "You said we'd learn something good today! You're a liar! Kenshin is back after a whole week and we're in here practicing holding very still. Let's go out to eat or something!"

Your lungs begin to burn, and you slowly and quietly exhale, arms frozen over your head, hands gripping the handle of your _bokken_. It's been so long since you've moved, the blood has all drained from your arms, but you continue to hold very still.

"Kaaaaoru!" cries Yahiko. "KAAAAORU!Are you even listening to me? Hey!"

Your eyes are fixed dead ahead, and when Yahiko gets to his feet and draws near, you let your eyelids flutter shut. You can feel the vibration on the floor where he walks toward you.

"Wake up, will ya?!" There's a sound of wood scraping from a rack on the wall. "Oi, Kaoru!"

Your ears tickle with the _swoosh_ and you move, muscles crying out in relief, and not a second later the _bokken _in your hands trembles with the weight of Yahiko's swing. You hear him distinctively say "What the-?" before you sidestep and slash horizontally toward where his footstep tremors had stopped. There's a thud, an "oof" and your student yells "What the hell?!"

There's another swoosh from your right and you jump back. Wind from his missed swing cuts at the skin on your face, and you raise your practice sword in time to block the second wave. Yahiko makes no move to strike again, so you open your eyes. He looks utterly confused and somewhat awestruck, staring at you like he's never seen you before.

"How?" is all he chokes out.

"You rely too much on your eyes, Yahiko," you say, smiling and lowering your weapon. "You need to practice listening and feeling, too.

"Holy shit, Missy!"

You both turn to the open dojo door to see Sano and Kenshin, both staring at you as if they'd been thoroughly impressed. Sano in particular seemed surprised, with his jaw opened widely.

"When the hell did you learn to do that?!"

You clear your throat and say "I learned it when I first took up Kamiya Kasshin-Ryu. My father taught me to feel the earth."

Kenshin's lips curl upward in a smile. "I never knew you were such an accomplished swordswoman, Kaoru-dono," he says.

You feel a familiar anger bubble up in your stomach. "Why, because I never show it?" you snap. "I'm still nowhere near strong enough to match you or Saito."

"What about me?" asks Sano gruffly.

You ignore him. "Just because I've never closed my eyes and held a sword before doesn't make me less of a swordswoman. In case you haven't noticed, Kenshin, I'm a _master_. I actually _teach _people how to use swords at this school, but I guess you only consider those you deem worthy to spar with as actual kendo masters."

He doesn't seem offended or confused by this speech at all. Instead Kenshin smiles, takes off his shoes at the dojo entrance, and walks up to you. You stare. "Kaoru-dono," he says quietly, "Would you allow me to spar with you?"

Where you have no words to answer, Yahiko has plenty. "What?!" he yells. "Kenshin, you never spar with _anyone_! You haven't even sparred with Sano, not since he was still a fight merchant! And that was an actual fight! This isn't fair!"

"Well?" prompts Kenshin.

You can't deny that you've wanted to spar against Kenshin since you first discovered he was the Hitokiri Battousai. The idea both excites and terrifies you. Part of you doesn't want to fight him at all, because then the gap in your skills will become so obvious to him.

The part that wants you to prove yourself is greater, though. You nod. "Okay. Let's spar."

It's painfully obvious that Sano is staring at you, but you don't know why. You're too busy to think about it – for the first time in the three years since you'd met him, you are finally about to go sword-to-sword with your best friend.

You and Kenshin face each other on opposite sides of the dojo, his _Sakabato_ safely in Yahiko's arms on the sidelines. He is holding a _bokken_, and it looks strange to you. You're so nervous you can barely think, but you force your eyes shut, and suddenly the world is clear to you.

You can hear Yahiko's loud breathing from meters away. Behind you, the rustle of cloth tickles your ears and you know Sano has crossed his arms. There is no sound in front of you, nor tremor in the floor.

Kenshin must be holding very still. He probably isn't even inhaling. You didn't expect him to take you as a serious opponent right from the start, and you're flattered he isn't treating this as a joke. You wait. There is no sign of movement at all, but you can hold still for hours. Finally, you hear the barely audible scrape of his socks against the _tatami_, and you only have a split second to raise your bokken before he slams his down with the force of a bull.

You get lost in the rumbles under your feet, and step to the side and swing, only to be met with another clash and sharp crack of wood. Kenshin is extraordinary. You've always known, but actually fighting him is different – you feel exhilarated.

You don't know if he's impressed with you or not. He hasn't landed a blow you haven't blocked, but you strongly suspect he's taking it easy on you. Besides, your eyes are closed and his are not. You can hardly hear his attacks. They're so fast that his sword cuts through the air like it's nothing, and his footsteps are so light and quick it's difficult to keep track of his position.

You fake a step back but drop into a crouch, swinging to the left with a cry. Your _bokken_ hits something soft. Your eyes fly open.

Kenshin's grinning down at you, and you stare at your practice sword, pressed into his leg.

"You let me win on purpose," you whisper.

"Of course not," he says.

Yahiko nods frantically from the sidelines and mouths "He did!"

Still, he looks impressed. You feel pride well up in your chest. You turn to the door to grin at Sano and celebrate your fake victory, but he isn't there anymore. Your smile fades.

"My turn, my turn!" Yahiko yells, dropping the Sakabato and seizing Kaoru's _bokken_. "Me next!"

"Okay, okay," Kenshin chuckles.

You go to the door and pull on your shoes. Sano's white coat flutters out of sight beyond the gate. You start to go after him.

"Kaoru-dono?"

You pause to look back at your best friend. He knows Sano had left, you realize. He knows where you're going, too. You don't stop to wonder why. "I'll be right back," you say, and chase after the "Aku" on Sano's back.

You find him staring at the water on the bridge by the river. He isn't smiling.

A/N:

Previous: Laundry Day

Next: The Festival


	6. The Festival

A/N: Sixth installment. These drabbles will vary in length, I've decided.

The Festival

Tokyo is preparing for the spring lantern festival as you walk slowly up to Sano on the bridge. From the urban crowd of houses and shops just over the river, you can see the people bustling around with decorations, hanging the delicate paper lanterns from trees and roofs and buildings. It's barely four in the afternoon, and the sun is still high in the sky.

Sano stares at the water, a grim expression on his face. His bandaged hands are clasped over the railing, and he doesn't look up when he hears you approach. You say nothing, and instead stand next to him. Your heart is thumping, almost painfully, and you aren't sure why. You want to know what is wrong with Sano.

You've never seen him like this.

There are fish in the river, swimming against the current in groups of two and three. After several long minutes, you sink deep into thought. You don't know Sano, you realize. You've never bothered to, but things are different. Things have changed, and you feel different.

"Why are you here?" he asks you suddenly.

"Huh?" You look at him. His eyes are still fixed out at the water. You swallow. "I was done sparring, so I thought I'd get out of the house," you say.

"Liar," he accuses. "You're out in your _ hakama_. You were in a rush."

You silently curse your kendo clothing and wish you could magically change back into your fancy red kimono he'd complimented early that morning. You lick your lips. "I saw you leave, so I followed you here."

"You haven't answered my question," he says, eyes staring at the fish.

"Huh?"

"Why are you here?"

Confused, you say, "I just said I followed you-"

"No," he growls, "Why are you _here_?"

You're at a loss for words. After long moments of silence, Sanousuke sighs and looks at you, smiling half-heartedly. "They're having the lantern festival today," he says quietly.

You nod.

"Well?" he asks. "Don't you wanna go?"

His invitation makes your heart race a little faster. "Sure," you say. Those are the only words you can form. Sano chuckles a little and starts walking toward the town. You trip after him, your ponytail swaying in the light breeze.

You and Sano go for dinner at the Akabeko, deciding among yourselves that Kenshin and Yahiko can fend for themselves. You talk about nothing in particular and share a hot pot. Sano's mood improves greatly, and he starts telling terrible jokes that are, for reasons beyond you, hilarious. By the time all the beef is nearly gone, you're laughing so hard your sides are about to split, and he's grinning so hugely it looks like he's all teeth.

Tae and Tsubame serve you a dessert on the house, smiling at you secretively. Sano orders a bottle of Sake and you share it, though he drinks most of the rice wine. The evening wears on, and it doesn't escape your notice that he's staring at you. The sky grows darker, the streets more crowded, and the lanterns start being lit. You decide to stare back.

It's strange.

There's a warm feeling in your stomach, and your chest is about to burst.

Tummy and heart full, you pay for the meal and exit the Akabeko. The air is dark but the brightly colored lanterns are everywhere, illuminating the street and Sano's face. You were laughing so hard in the restaurant that walking side by side in silence now is a little strange. But you're comfortable.

The city is beautiful. Your hands hang by your sides, and Sano's do, too. You swallow as you walk. His fingertips brush by accident against your skin. The two of you turn down a street with fewer occupants, away from the game and food stalls and crowds. His hand brushes yours again, and you wonder if it's a coincidence.

The path is still well-lit by the blue and green lanterns, but further up the road you and Sano are the only ones walking.

"I'm glad we came," you say, breaking the tense silence. "I wasn't planning on it this year, but it's been a lot of fun. I'm happy you invited me."

Your hands bump, your heart thumps. "It's awfully pretty," says Sano. "If we'd brought the brat along he'd have ruined it."

You agree, but you're also glad Kenshin isn't there. In fact, you're very happy that it's just the two of you. "Did you know I thought I'd never see you again?" you ask him.

"When?"

"When you got chased out of Japan after Enishi disappeared. I was sure you were gone forever."

He grins, eyes dead ahead. "I'd never leave you for _forever_," he says.

Your face gets warm, and you just know you're blushing. "Oh."

The path glitters in the colored lights. Sano slows down, and then stops walking entirely. You stare at him, and he opens his mouth to speak. "You're a good girl, Missy," he says, not looking you in the eye. "You've been a good friend to me. When I got chased away I was worried I wouldn't come back, either. But I had a promise to keep."

"A promise?"

"I swore I'd be by Kenshin's side, help him protect what's precious to him. The dojo, this town, the brat, you…"

You blink. What's he trying to say?

Sano looks at you, and seems like he's about to say something important, something life changing. But he doesn't. He shakes his head, mumbles, "Never mind," and scratches his chin. "You'll be fine."

"What are you talking about?" you ask quietly. "It sounds like…" It sounds like he's trying to push you away. Normally you'd be angry with him for being so cryptic, and you realize he's waiting for you to yell at him and demand answers. He looks a little desperate for you to yell at him. Instead, you reach for his hand.

He pulls away and starts walking before you can touch him. He chuckles. "You never change, Missy," Sano laughs.

Your legs refuse to follow him. Crestfallen, your hand falls back to your side, fingertips cold.

He realizes after only five meters that you aren't following him and turns back to look at you. "Missy?" he says. You don't move. He takes a step toward you. "Kaoru?"

"Things do change," you whisper, and Sano stops. "Nothing stays the same forever. _I've _changed. I don't want to be who I was, not anymore, that dream is gone, Sano!"

"Kaoru…"

"I _know_ things are different, and I _want_ them to be," you shout.

You, Kamiya Kaoru, do not love Himura Kenshin. In fact…

You take a deep breath. "Sano," you start.

"Don't say it!" he snaps.

One of the lanterns goes out, and the road seems much darker. Sano's face is hidden in the shadows.

He turns his back to you, the "Aku" for evil standing out in the night, and growls over his shoulder, "You're driving me crazy." He leaves you there, on the dark road, not once looking back. He knows, you realize. He knows, and he doesn't want it. Doesn't want you.

You wait for hours for him to come back.

He doesn't.

A/N:

Previous: Sparring

Next: Departure


End file.
